Friday, May 12, 2006

Getting It

The EduDad is still with us. Thanks to all who have expressed support, this is the hardest time in my life so far and it means so much that you understand. I'm not back to regular blogging by a longshot, but I need to say this.

Dad's been in ICU since Sunday morning. Yesterday, we had a big scare and feared we had lost him. As terrifying as it is to think of everything you might want to say to your father for the rest of your life, I said something, called some friends, and waited. Four hours later, we had better news and I was able to breathe again and with that breath, I figured something out.

Some stuff doesn't matter.

We've had a lot of visitors this week and somehow, I have appreciated them all. Even those people, those people from the church. If their presence means something to anyone in my family, fine. You belong with us. Perhaps my feelings toward them are only neutral, but that's a start. Those people can't hurt me--and that's a big step. I've had the last scene from Places In The Heart playing in my head and that's where I want to be: passing the cup of forgiveness to brethren and sistren who hurt me and having the crap of this world just not matter.

Today was a better day. We aren't out of the woods, but it's better. If God grants it, we'll all pass the cup together again soon.

(and by the way, what is the hymn they're singing in that scene!?! It's killing me. If you wanted to say "let me know what I can do for you", this is what you can do. Tell me what the hymn is!)


Streak said...

Sorry, I don't know what the song is. I saw that film way too many years ago. :(

I will keep a good thought for you and your dad.

Anonymous said...

I just watched the trailer at IMDB and the hymn that was sung at the end of the trailer under the voice-over was "Blessed Assurance". This is a great old Fanny J. Crosby hymn. I don't remember if this is the one in the final scene, because I haven't seen the movie in years, but I hope this helps.

I've been a lurker on your blog for several months and enjoy it very much. I can relate a lot because I teach middle school in the "real" OKC area and share a lot of your concerns (and probably students as ours move frequently).

I too send healing thoughts to your Dad and strength for you.

Anonymous said...

I'm almost positive that "In the Garden" is the hymn in the last scene of Places in the Heart.

Sending good thoughts and prayers for your dad and your family.

Susan said...

You know I've got your back. For whatever it's worth.

(With all fingers and toes crossed for you and your family. And my cell phone turned on ALL the time, just for you.)

DesertSurfer said...

I could not imagine the massive amount of worry associated with what you are going through. Just know you have "virtual" support group out here. Stay strong both for him and for you.


educat said...

Thank you all.

I watched the IMDB trailer also and heard Blessed Assurance--that was my sister's guess but when I sang it for her (for I know the hymns that make the whole world sing), we both didn't think that was it. Who knows. I'll find it.

And think gently of me as I "try" school tomorrow. I never thought this would drag beyond a week and have to find how to do all this at the same time.