The EduDad is still with us. Thanks to all who have expressed support, this is the hardest time in my life so far and it means so much that you understand. I'm not back to regular blogging by a longshot, but I need to say this.
Dad's been in ICU since Sunday morning. Yesterday, we had a big scare and feared we had lost him. As terrifying as it is to think of everything you might want to say to your father for the rest of your life, I said something, called some friends, and waited. Four hours later, we had better news and I was able to breathe again and with that breath, I figured something out.
Some stuff doesn't matter.
We've had a lot of visitors this week and somehow, I have appreciated them all. Even those people, those people from the church. If their presence means something to anyone in my family, fine. You belong with us. Perhaps my feelings toward them are only neutral, but that's a start. Those people can't hurt me--and that's a big step. I've had the last scene from Places In The Heart playing in my head and that's where I want to be: passing the cup of forgiveness to brethren and sistren who hurt me and having the crap of this world just not matter.
Today was a better day. We aren't out of the woods, but it's better. If God grants it, we'll all pass the cup together again soon.
(and by the way, what is the hymn they're singing in that scene!?! It's killing me. If you wanted to say "let me know what I can do for you", this is what you can do. Tell me what the hymn is!)