A Waste Of Tea, But A Huge Relief

Got back yesterday from our school's annual leadership retreat. We took 55 great kids and spent about two days talking about being the best we could be and turning our school around.

What did I get from this? Besides strengthening relationships with some students, I learned the latest in goofy teen boy tricks.

I walked into the room to meet with my small group Saturday morning just in time to hear one of them announce,

"Dude, I'm so mad at that one kid. He totally teabagged me last night"

Don't comment here asking me what that is. You're on a computer, so you'll have to look it up yourself. If it's enough for you to know that it's a sex act, then now you know that.

I'm standing there frozen and a bit torn about what to do. Should I trust that the conversation will end soon? Just move on with our agenda? Anything else will let on that I know what they're talking about...

"Yeah, we totally got this other kid and he didn't even know. He was asleep!"

Oh sweet crap. I hate this...

"I'm gonna get him back though. I got these this morning"

...and the kid produces two tea bags from his backpack. Evidently, the fad is to actually place wet teabags on unsuspecting friends.

Whatever you kids are calling it these days.

Pretend Like You Won And I'll Drop Balloons!!

By admitting that it's taken five years to get this many hits, I will appear far less cool and much more obscure but I've never been one of the popala girls so whatever.

Sometime this week (tomorrow, I'd guess), Ramblin Educat will turn over 100,000 hits.

I'm celebrating this milestone by rolling out a bunch of new crap. I'll have my twitter account linked (because seriously, I rock at under 140 characters) and will perhaps begin a discussion of why I am avoiding facebook. The conversation promises to probe deep into my bitter and nasty psyche. You'll want to stay tuned.

Because My Life Is That Fascinating

I'm on twitter. Search for mseducat if you'd like to find me.

Monday: The First Day Of The Rest Of Your Life

I am so excited to get a student teacher on Monday!



Firstly, I am so very ready to start a young teacher on her way to a long career spent investing her efforts into students. I had the best student teaching experience a puppy teacher could want. My cooperating teacher was actually an old friend from church (she babysat me as a child), I planned to be a Speech/Drama teacher so the twelve hour days were no shock at all to me and my mentor teacher could watch me work with kids and articulate with ease the things I did well and the things that weren't so great. I want to be that encouraging friend that naturally builds on the wealth of gifts that my puppy will bring.

Secondly, I need another set of hands. It's beyond tough to run a school spirit empire, a fake kid government, and to maintain full responsibility for two of the three Rs. She's going to take over one class at a time and her first one will happen quickly so I can work on Senior assembly. I can't wait to share the burden of grading.

But there's a gamble, isn't there? I'm assuming that babygirl is a natural teacher who just needs one last good push into the big world of teaching, but what if she isn't? I don't expect her to work twelve hour days, but what if she thinks that teaching is a seven hour a day job? What if she's a yeller?

So I guess I want ideas. I'm already noting everything my buddy Ms. C shared a coupla years ago but it's been about 12 years since I've had a student teacher and it was in a whole other subject area. Thoughts, please. I have a student teacher...and go!

New Semester News

1. Brother of Urinator didn't show in class today. He's still on my roll. I have set my mind to give him his own, very fair shot into my good graces but that doesn't mean that I'd rather not exercize that particular professional skill.
2. The Sophie's Choice of teacher-dom is no longer my dillema!! My plan is during the lunch period so I have a giant planlunch all smashed together!! Today I used the restroom and ate a healthy lunch! Such riches!

Just A Few Quick Questions

• Tomorrow, our new semester begins and I have the brother of "The Urinator" in my last period class. From what I've been told, The Urinator is the good brother. Would you cry to the counselor's office for some sort of immunity ("Do I have to have both of the pee brothers!?")? Is it a situation worthy of special consideration?
• For the English teachers--When you're in those awful staff development meetings and other teachers refer to you as "An English Person", are you tempted to answer them in your best Princess Margaret voice? No? Not even a little?
• If you're at lunch with a group of mixed age colleagues (all "English People" for what it's worth, and no one eating fish and chips...) and all the diners of a certain age are bemoaning the downfall of society and how text messaging has brought us there, should I mention that I was just notified by text message of the passing of my great uncle?
• If not Princess Margaret, how about Eliza Doolittle?

For the record, I'd say: no but I'd like to; yes, yes, oh HELL YES; no; and tempting but no.

One True Thing

One True Thing is streaming over on Hulu right now. I watched it yesterday while attacking some Christmas knitting.

The irony of this is totally available to me. When the movie first came out, my whole family commented how much I seemed like the Renee Zellweger character (especially when they refer to her and her best friend as "The Sylvia Plath Twins") and here I am just a few years later, doing the Christmas knitting and hoping my mom will be all right this Christmas.

By the time it got to this clip, the knitting was almost done and I was sobbing uncontrollably. Don't worry, you'll only see the five minute clip here.

You're A Mean One Mr Grinch

If you're wondering, it's me.

I'm the mean one. The only one who doesnt' give their class a party or let children play the last day of the semester. We're doing reflective writing.

I'm the mean one. Anyone else with me?

Knitting And The Single Woman

...or How I Ended Up With A Phone Sock

Once I realized that this fetching sock was too large for my sister's ipod, I was left to find another use for this beauty. It was still on the needles at the time and when my spirit club co sponsor noticed it, I told him I was experimenting with ipod socks.

My ulterior motive, of course, was to feel him out to see if he'd want it...

I need to stop and talk about my spirit club co sponsor. He is perfect. My love for him is deep and pure and platonic (because, seriously, he's about nine years old or something...). He is perfect for our silly club and he loves hand knits. When I gave him a hat, he went right inside to look at the striping and commented on how much he loved the inside. What!?

Comment sometime on the beauty of the wrong side of a hand knit. It's how to love a knitter.

So I was all ready to wrap this chunk of yarn and glory for my buddy until he said, "I really want an ipod sock, my wife promised to make me a felt one, but that hasn't happened yet."

Dang. Is it a strange moral line in the sand that I won't make this man something his wife promised him? I've met his wife and love her, I'd amputate my hand before I'd offend her.

So I'm left to use this sock on my phone. It might be where it should be. Could anyone else really appreciate this perfect graft at the bottom? I doubt it.

They're Not Hats, Just Trees

I have a tiny forest of felted trees from Mason Dixon Knitting, Outside the Lines going right now. Two different friends of mine today thought I was making rather artistic hats--not the case. Here are my favorite three--the buttons are actually pink even though they look red here.

I almost hate to give them away.

You Cannot Be Sad, Part II

Sorry, can't write about this while my toes are tapping uncontrolably!

You Cannot Be Sad, Part I

In order to get us through this long last week of school, complete with two days of State Testing, first home basketball of the season, writing folder compliation, one act play, completion of Christmas knitting and finals; I'll be offering a gift each day.

Things you cannot be sad while viewing

That's an awkward title, but I'm too danged happy to fix it.


We kick off with the real harbinger of Christmas in my family: Emmett Otter. My sister and I watched it as kids on HBO and the first year it came out on video, I was in college. My sister had it playing on the TV as I walked in the door from finals.

If these woodland creatures don't make you smile, you are dead and broken inside.

Forgiveness

From Real Live Preacher...

Yoon Dong-yun, the only remaining member of the family killed this week when a Marine pilot crashed into a San Diego home doesn't plan to sue, he's forgiven the pilot. He prays for him, in fact, that he won't suffer mental anguish from the tragedy. Read more here.

I won't even cheapen this with commentary.

Music To Test By (Pretend It's Postdated To Tuesday)

This song drops my blood pressure every time I hear it. I've soopa favorite-ed it on Pandora and it's on every playlist I have right now. One cannot be sad whilst listening to this song and it played in my head a bit during testing.

Lyrics by Woody Guthrie, Okie and Bad Ass. Kim, make note.

I Am The State

So we're one-third through testing now. The writing test is done and we've two glorious days of multiple choice before we call it a semester.

I wanted to post some music in homage to the season, kind of like I did last year, but I was dog tired and it never really occurred to me that day that I even have a blog (sorry, I think of you sometimes but dang, I couldn't even get to the bathroom). If I think about it tonight, I'll throw up some music and you can pretend it's postdated.

Mostly, our kids have a good attitude about testing. They want to do well but don't stress too much about it. I have, however, one group of kids that seems to be the perfect storm for silliness. They don't mean to talk all the time, but they must be constantly occupied or they will grab each other and make fart noises, they just can't help it.

So anything I tell the kids to do is followed by a threat of the State.

"If you speak at all before everyone has finished the test, I have to report exactly what you said to The State"

(Thankfully, this one didn't backfire on me, I can imagine what some kids would say to "The State")

"If your cell phone goes off during the test, I have to report it to The State and everyone's test will be invalid. You'll all have to retake it."

"I have to report to The State anyone who finishes their essay within half an hour. They suspect that you haven't tried if you do it too quickly."

It all really worked. The threat of The State was enough to get everyone working and behaving. I like to imagine that my kids all pictured this guy behind a desk, waiting to catch them in wrongdoing...

...except he probably wears a tie to work. Since he doesn't have a neck, he sort of jauntily hangs it off the panhandle.

Not Sure, But I Bet It's Dirty

Real question today:

"Miss, what's a biological narrative?"

My Racist Friend, Part II

So this morning, this lady told me that her jokes weren't so bad.

Because a Jewish kid told them to her daughter.

7 Posts About The Same Thing

I've been tagged by Hudd at Adventures In Teaching and she's asked me to write seven random facts about myself. Clearly, she's either an eternal optimist or isn't aware that I am somehow the worst tag-ee ever to blog. I'm flattered, though, I just can't seem to come up with anything to write about except selling school t shirts or State testing. Seriously, too close to the end of the semester. I am bleary eyed and nasty.



Instead, in her honor, I will start a whole new meme! I'll call it...



Seven Posts On The Same Topic



Find old entries on your blog that center around the same topic and give us the links to them. We'll get to know your back catalog and your hits will shoot up (even if it's false inflation and only for a short time).



My topic, appropos of the season, is State Testing!!!

Because my school is on a block schedule, we have testing in both the Fall and the Spring. You'll see entries from both times of year.

My very first English class (after teaching Speech/Drama for 10 years) was in 2004. I gave my very first End Of Instruction exam and learned along with my students. Here's an account of that time. I still often wish I could tell people I "got the finga" for them.

December of 2005 was full of all sorts of testing comedy. I had funny kids, I suppose that contributed to the situation. It was also at the height of our testing incentive efforts (we've since scaled back). The zillion year old monitor I had for the multiple choice test was worth two entries. I also shared some of the keys to my testing success.

That's four, and it only covers two testing season! Knit yourself a hat and hang onto it, there's more!

The next testing season was a hard one. We were forced to jump through new hoops to prove to district administration that we were doing our jobs. We did all kinds of review with these kids. It was at the end of this most madcap of all testing seasons that my dad went into the hospital and passed away two months later. Reading these entries were like reading the last words of the person I used to be.

Someone at Admin read a book again and that year they decided that students should test in their classrooms--except for when they can't. It was awesome. At the end, I was able to reflect on the whole time and hatched a profound thought that I chew on to this day.

My trip down memory lane of testing ends with last December. For the record, I still laugh at these teachers who just got State Exams. Their fresh panic makes me look so very Zen.

So now, it's time to tag. Since I am starting the meme, I am for once going to tag some folks.

Let's start with Hudd, since she helped me to this idea in the first place.
and we'll add to the list
Ms Cornelius
Mister Teacher
Jim
The Crib Chick

As always, consider yourself tagged if this interests you and if any of you try this, drop a comment.

Bosom of Family

My dad's hometown is a nine hour drive from here. We used to leave after dad would get off work and all of us would sleep while dad would drive. I can remember waking up on those trips and hearing dad sing along with Harry Chapin to stay awake. This is classic car trip music in my world.

We leave tonight for Grandma's house where we'll holiday with eighteen of our family members. I didn't realize until Sunday that Wednesday would be the 20th anniversary of my Grandpa's death. I'm glad we'll get to be there. In my memory, losing Grandpa was the first death that affected me.

I'll miss hearing Harry Chapin in the middle of the night and I'll miss Grandpa meeting us at the door with some silly 3am joke. But I'm blessed beyond belief to have these memories.

Happy Thanksgiving

Overheard

So today, a young lady in the back of my room had a full volume discussion with her friend about the anxiety surrounding the results of her most recent pap smear.



You're wondering? She's fifteen.



The young men at the front of the room were discreet enough to simply put their heads down to laugh (or to HIDE THEIR HEADS AND WEEP) as the young ladies speculated as to what sort of abnormalities the doctor might find.



All I could think of is that if I get a choice, I'm hoping she has syphillis because if she does, there's a chance that that last brief bout of severe genius might come at the same time as her End Of Instruction test. Seriously, because that would be some kind of writing score!