Monday, November 19, 2007

Isn't It Cute When Adults Text?

My friend chronicles a cruel text message I sent her this weekend.

It's worth noting that I did, in fact, see Pygmalion on Thursday night (a Broadway production, it's one of eight shows not affected by the strike as their stagehands aren't employed by LocalOne). It was good. Great in parts, but overall good. Claire Danes was good, but not any better than my friend at our University production fifteen years ago. As far as the production goes, Jefferson Mays was outstanding as Higgins. There was great irony to this incredible wordsmith saying volumes with his silence. My favorite performance overall was Jay O. Sanders (who you may recall as the inimitable Ziggy from Rosanne) as Mr Doolittle. His scene in the second act about the perils of middle class values was stunning.

But I digress.

The twin peril to the joy of sending text is that I can also receive them. Halfway through the day on Friday, I got a text on my phone from my teacher neighbor around the corner.
The peed in your ice chest

Isn't he hilarious, this one? Ha ha ha, siiighhh...I love these colorful characters I work with back home!

I threw back a one word message,
liar

...and went off to do something pretentious. Perhaps it was a poetry slam or a discussion on innovative classroom methods or just cruising the exhibit hall for free books. Whatever, when I finished it, I had a return text.
I'm totally serious.

My thumbs flew back with some fury about the incompetence of the sub or guesses at the perpetrator or some such and all was left until I returned today. Today, when the students would fully experience the dark, dark midnight of my wrath.

The urinator had already confessed and is on a temporary sabbatical from English class. His accomplices were nabbed today and the ice chest will be replaced. Once the guilty three were removed, I could finally laugh about the incident and I was thrilled to see that my class echoed both my outrage and my laughter. Jokes about this being the "number one problem" flowed like...well, they flowed.

Sorry, it's not yet that funny.

5 comments:

finijo said...

LOL! Come on - it's that funny.

Crib Chick said...

See...there's just no numbering the people that you hurt with this trip to NY.

I think he was acting out, you know, like cats do when their masters do something they don't like.

Inheritor of Heaven said...

Some of my students were asking me if I texted (is that really a word?) anyone on my phone. I assured them that yes I did. They did not believe me and asked if I knew what LOL was. Of course. Then they asked me if I knew what gtg was. Of course. Then one asked if I knew what bamf was. I thought for a moment, turned red (that they would ask me that one ...it was a girl who asked that question) and said yes, indeed I think I do know that one. They did not believe me and asked what I thought it meant. I said, "I would be a bamf if I answered that." They thought that was a cop-out so I said it must mean something regarding being a Bad*donkey*female parent*expeletive. They agreed, yes you do know what it means.

Crib Chick said...

Inheritor of Heaven, this is funny to me on so many levels...

First of all, one of my daughter's friends offered to text a message *for me* when I acknowledged that there was no way I could compete with any of them for speed/accuracy in texting.

Secondly, I know that my speed is limited by my inability to make myself use '4' instead of 'for', etc., and that makes me a dinosaur.

But thirdly...I think I have a new catch phrase: "I am a bad donkey female parent expletive!!" ROFLOL!

Reiza said...

While we were at Target a few weeks ago, we were almost hit by a car speeding through the crosswalk. The driver didn't even see us. He was too busy texting WHILE HE DROVE. He wasn't even looking at the road. He was looking down at his phone and typing a text message.

This was an adult male with an adult female and a little girl in the car with him.

I couldn't believe it.

Dh used to complain that text messaging is destroying the language. Now we both suspect it's going to destroy the whole freaking world.