You Made Me Blog You, I Didn't Want To Do It

I swear I gave this girl several chances not to be blogged. She said and did several things on which I could have passed. However, when you witness them all together,I think you'd agree I'd be cheating you all if I didn't share.

I gave the ACT Saturday morning. It was a small test for our school because of Fall Break we had about 100 kids as opposed to the 300 area kids we usually test. This child in my room made up for the 200 we were short on Saturday.

• Troublesome Child comes to my room and presents her ID (watch for oddity #1 here), a passport from a Caribbean nation.
• I also notice her eyebrows. I can't help it, I notice everyone's eyebrows. I have spoken before of my own eyebrow struggle, so I don't intend to throw stones here. She had those one-hair-thin brows that make you look like Bob Geldof in The Wall but then stubble where they were growing in. Big, big stubble. Stubble that threatened to make her look like Bert.
• The scripted, liturgical ACT instructions baffled her. She could not identify the right boxes for any data. It got so that with every new instruction, I would point to the spot on her paper. Glad I seated her on the front row.
• She left her seat after the first test to put her purse across the room from her. I didn't get it, but it wasn't worth questioning.
• Just before I called "begin" on the morning's final test, I hear a rooster crowing. Seriously, a crowing rooster! What the crap!? Did someone in here betray Jesus three times? I couldn't figure it out...until I followed the rooster...to...the purse across the room. Please, if you refuse to shut your phone off, have a ring that sounds like a ring and not a farm animal. So now, I have to fret over whether or not to void her test. At the advice of the test administrator, we decide that she stays and I fill out a lengthy incident report.

That was a story. One worth telling, but probably not blogging (Sorry, internet, you don't get it all. ) but dammit, she just kept being crazy.

• We're done. It's not even the test anymore. It's the "fill in some questions about your test taking experience" part. I have given the appropriate ACT liturgy. "Stop. Put your pencils down, close your test book and look at me. Turn your answer sheet to page two...". But she didn't turn the answer document. Nope. She opened the test booklet!! Did you hear me, She opened the test booklet!!!!! She didn't write on the answer sheet, nothing verboten was bubbled, but what am I to do!?!?

The test administrator once again made the call and I was able to speak with the girl. We had a long talk about listening and watching to see what others do and for the love of all that is good and holy asking questions when you are confused. She promised that she had a new cell phone that she didn't know how to work and cried and cried her oddly framed eyes out. I dismissed her with a pat on the back and urged her to take the test again.

Somewhere else.

See? She was just begging to be blogged.