Sunday, May 16, 2004

Of Lotion and Eyebrow Pencils...

There are reasons I usually avoid blogging about my second job. Firstly, there usually isn't much to say. It's pretty much standard issue retail and although some stories are hilarious, they require too much backstory. Ask me in person about wiener Dog Perfume and Licking Your Arm to Test Chemistry. Funny stories, but I would be likely to loose you here. Secondly, it's sort of a sore spot with me that I even have to do have this job. You know this argument too (I should have some sort of catch phrase for "You know the argument" I use it so much. Ideas?).

I choose to blog about the Bath and Body today because a. it's been a quiet weekend and I haven't written anything in a while and 2. this story will give insight into my life as a personal care sales advisor (or lotion jockey, take your pick).

So I answer the phone at an uneventful night at work and am greeted with a question.

"What sort of eyebrow pencils do you carry?"

"Actually, we no longer carry color cosmetics"

"Oh (suddenly sounding nervous), well, um, I have some questions."

"Ok..."

"How can you draw your eyebrows back on after they've been um...removed? See, I'm a guy and well...you know, the hair doesn't grow back after you wax"


Ok, I have limited experience in this field. For starters, I have been waxing my eyebrows for about 20 years and have yet to see a reduction of regrowth. Leave me alone for a month, and I turn into Bert. I digress...

"Well, sir, I will confess my experience here is limited, have you spoken with an aesthetician?"

"Yes, and they said that it's not likely to grow back!"


So I am not only fielding beauty questions from a drag queen, I feel like a hairgrowing freak of nature.

"Ok, well, sir, you might just get a cheap drugstore pencil and experiment with some looks"

"I like this look when I am doing female impersonation, but I want to look like a guy the rest of the time"

"Well, from my extremely limited experience in this realm, sir, all I can tell you is that you might experiment and perhaps consult someone at a cosmetics counter."


...And perhaps you should avoid seeking counseling from the gals at the Bath and Body.



1 comment:

kara said...

oh my! i will just tell right now.... that you are not in fact a hairy freak. i have to get my eyebrows waxed at least once a month or they start to try and dominate the world. super hysterical story. made me laugh a lot.