Saturday, February 19, 2005

Yarn and Loathing in the OC

You know, although this blog is growing (thanks to you, friends on the internets), I am fully aware that it's not quite a niche blog. Sometimes it's just a humor blog. Sometimes it's an edu-blog. Sometimes it's a blog about faith. Right now, this will be a blog about yarn.

I am not someone who would purchase a poncho. I got one for Christmas and still feel a bit like Rhoda or Maude when I wear it. So be aware that I am not taking a poncho class for a love of ponchos. I am taking this class so that I can master knitting. For it will be mastered, friend. It will.

That said, witness the pattern that Knitty calls a "very easy poncho" by classifying it mellow. Mellow. My. Ass. Here are some tips for this pattern:
  1. Knitting with circular needles before there is work enough to weigh them down is an experiment in terror.
  2. They are called "needles" for a reason. If your needles do not have sharp points, don't think of how great it will be for your yarn not to split, run from them. It will be like knitting with cucumbers.
  3. Where in Charles do these people get off with just "Twist the two yarns together where they meet on each row" when entire websites are created for the exploration of just this topic???
  4. Don't be fooled by the carefree look of the model in this pattern. She is the designer and she is mocking you. She dares you to try this pattern. She loves your pain.

I have just dropped a fine chunk of change for The Complete Idiot's Guide to Knitting and Crochet along with an alternate set of needles. I am soon sitting down and not getting up until I have begun a poncho.

More breaking poncho news as it happens.


Anonymous said...

Okay, earlier this evening (about the time you posted this, in fact) I was about to call and ask how the poncho and circular needles were going. I guess my intuition to not pick up the phone was a correct one.

Your sister in yarn.

educat said...

Check your cell phone. This entry is an extension of the message I left you driving home from Michael's.