Sunday, October 15, 2006

Creepy Link O' The Day*

Eigh! I left part of myself with my baby! I left part of myself with my baby!!!

Either that or I allowed my baby to be raised by Mummenschanz.

Edited now to add post-entry conversation!!

The Crib Chick calls this afternoon. Please remember that what with my barren womb and all, I defer to Mme. Crib, a five child nursing and childbirth veteran, on all things child soothing and lactational and the like...

Me: Did you read the whole page, though? Or just the creepy puppet hand
picture at the top?

Crib: Just the top, it was enough!

Me: Ok, seriously, you're only having half the fun if you focus on the top.
Scroll down. They advise you to "give the pillow your scent" in order to soothe
your baby. So that means..?

Crib: You stick it in your bra.

Me: Oooooookay. You know, I am sure that that boob scented hand shaped
pillow is soothing but how do you explain...?

Crib: The pillow hand sticking out of your bra? Yeah, good question.
Imagine explaining that to baby daddy. "Yeah, hon, in an effort to get through
your inattention of my boobs, I have chosen to give them over to these pillow
hands. I have also chosen to allow these pillow hands to parent our offspring,
thus creating a circle of inattention and avoidance."

Me: Good idea. They talk about daddy giving his scent to the pillow too.
What do you think that might...?

Crib: I think every daddy who wears a bra should have that honor.

So do I, friend of friends. So do I.

*Please don't allow yourself to be confused by the phrase "o' the day". This feature may never happen again.


The Crib Chick said...

Those are for all of those overachievers, who don't want to wait until later life to begin mentally scarring their child.

It's sort of like psychological torment 'Head Start', I guess.

Karina. said...

Shock is better than caffeine today. I only wish I'd saved that for some time when I had the hiccups.