Sunday, July 24, 2005

Happy. Effing. Birthday.

Here's how it went:

8-11am-Wrap up final nerd camp of the summer with lesson plans, poetry, songs and tears.

11am-Join new friends on airport shuttle, planning for long lunch at airport. After all, my flight leaves at 2:40 and I will be home by 7!

2pm-Amble over to the gate, planning to quietly knit and read until my flight. After three weeks of being away, it will be good to be home.

2:05-Delay to flight is announced. Will not make conncecting flight. Check with airline, they will have to switch me to another airline and get me home 2 hours later.

3pm-Begin the process of getting bag from one airline and checking in at the next. Find counter attendant on the phone and generally preoccupied. Weigh bag that was moments ago ready to fly with Delta to find that it is 5 lbs overweight for American. Begin to wonder if this theory will carry over and if I will be forced to pay extra for my actual self to fly--Lord knows there's more to deal with there than my suitcase. Remove eight lb. institute binder rather than pay.

3:15-Proceed to re-enter security. Discover ID is missing. Dash back to American counter to find my charming attendant still on the phone, with my ID sitting out in full view. Thank her for all her help.

3:17-You have been randomly selected for an extra security check! Never mind that you made it through security effortlessly just hours ago. Step to the side for wanding, frisking, and bag search. Only visible breakdown of the day occurs here. In an attempt to console, security guard compliments knitting and wishes me a happy birthday. Somehow a pat on the back seems less sincere through a rubber glove.

3:30-Wait for flight in terminal with broken air conditioner. Wonder where I went wrong.

6pm-Land in Dallas and run into a teacher colleague who is on the same flight home. Collapse talking to her with the feeling I am almost home. She will now be my companion on the last leg of this doomed journey.

7pm-Miss flight to OKC. This is not yet funny to me. I shall speak of it when I am emotionally ready.

7:15-Rush to next available flight to OKC. Find it has changed gates.

7:25-Rush to next gate. Find flight is delayed.

8pm-Welcome about fifteen loud teenageers in a group to the terminal. Wonder if I love children anymore.

9:37-Board flight. Begin to feel I might arrive home again.

I shall be rescheduling my birthday.

*Special added comment for my new anonymous friend: Church. Church and church and God and Jesus.


Scott Jones said...

It's Birmingham.

Last year I was flying out of there after CBF. I was on the only direct flight to Dallas. Many other friends were on flights that required them to have layovers. They were envious of me and the folk on the direct flight. Went to airport WAY early with some of the other folk and had lunch with them. They boarded their flights and I sat around reading till mine was supposed to board (it left later than the other flights). Delayed. Ended up delayed over five hours. We still got a direct flight into Dallas, but arrived LONG after folk who had taken the indirect routes.

Karina. said...

Wholly crap, Batgirl. And I thought traffic in Missouri was a pain to deal with.

Well, happy delayed birthday, bitchcakes...

educat said...

Wholly crap is right. Utterly and fully crap.

I decided until something good happened, I was still thirty three.

Spent the day with family, good times. I am now thirty four.

Which only looks old when I type it.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to disagree with you after all you've been through - but, 34 is not old. At 53, 34 sounds young; however, I wouldn't go through that stage of life again. I worked 'way to hard to get to this point. Cheer up - karma says you have a fabulous trip somewhere in your future.

your knitting teacher.

The Crib Chick said...

Aww...sorry to hear about the difficulties. If it makes you feel better, I'm sending you a present! So it'll be your birthday once more!

educat said...

I agree with you, Knitting Teacher. I don't feel at all old--it's just the initial oddity of being "what I thought my age was plus one". I will settle in to 34 soon.

Crib Chick almost got a tearful call from me at the airport. She is one of the few people who manages that fine line of laughing with me and giving me just enough sympathy to not feel pathetic.

Thanks to all of you!