Tuesday, January 04, 2005

What I Learned In School Today

I nearly snapped today. For you hipsters, I refer to the "Oh, the humanity! She's up on the belltower!!" sort of snapped and not any sort of finger popping jive.


I think all the crazy bad homelife children of mine came back crazier after two weeks of their real or imagined home drama. My "good class" is averaging a couple of temper tantrums a day. Add that to the "ohmigawdMsOIdidn'tknowitwasdueandIjustneedonemoreday ohmigawdohmigawd PLEEEEEEZE!!!!!!!" panic, add water and bake til done.

I was making my THIRD trip to the copier (never give me your only copy of anything, children) when it hit me. An urge hit me. An urge bigger than all of us. I wanted to go back to my room, stand before my beloved children, and grab my breasts yelling "These are dry!!! Dry, I say!!!! I do not lactate for you or anyone else so quit expecting me to nurse you!!!!!!!"

At this juncture it seems appropriate to extend a hearty educat welcome to those of you who found this site by googling the phrase "grab my breasts" and apologize for the lack of pictures. Trust me, I live with the breasts in question and you are better off without them.

I didn't do it. I didn't snap and in fact was able to put out one emotional fire, discuss faith based initiatives, and write a snappy letter of recommendation. Rest easy, your tax dollars were well spent.

I'm not made of stone, though. That's all I'm sayin'.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ok. That was awesome.