Tuesday, April 10, 2007

I'm Bringing The Bible Into My School

In order for Don Imus to get a two week suspension at my High School, he'd not only have to use racist words at the women of the Rutgers Women's Basketball team, he'd have to beat them up.

And we all know that couldn't happen.

I am tired, tired, tired of the misuse of words in order to hurt others. I've been writing referrals, assigning detentions, and generally waving my arm in defiance until I lose feeling in it and I fear it will fall off. Today, I hit the wall on the most misused and overused insult--gay.

Anything unpleasant or distasteful is gay. My tests? Gay. Five minute passing periods? Gay. The rule against bringing your baby to school on carnival day (or any other)? Gay.

For years, I've been fighting it by arguing that my tests, the passing periods, and leaving your baby at home have no sexual preference. While I respect that these things don't make you happy, they're not homosexual.

Today, I hit a wall with "gay". I have now decided that I will respond to that word in kind, I will use other laws from the book of Leviticus as insults.

  • "Man, you need to quit! That's so crazy it allows cattle to graze with cattle of other kinds!"
  • "Oooh, you totally wear clothing made from more than one kind of fabric."
  • "You touch the skin of unclean animals. You do it alla time, so's your momma!"

I know you people can help me here, insults from the book of Leviticus...go!

11 comments:

rebecca said...

I love that.

IMC Guy said...

That's not the only one that's being used inappropriately. I hear "That's retarded" quite a bit too. Perhaps if we keep working on it, it might sink in with a couple of the students. Small steps, small steps.

Dee said...

man your grain offering is soooo full of yeast!

Or you could just tell the class they have all sinned and need to bring you a bull to sacrifice LOL!

I'm laughing but it really isn't funny. There is a wonderful video created by students here http://learningismessy.com/blog/?p=230

Kind of gives you a little hope...

bev said...

You could bring back "unclean." As in:

"Man, this test is jus' unclean, that's all. Un. Clean."

CaliforniaTeacherGuy said...

"Hey, dude! You eat kid seethed in its mama's milk. You waaay bad!"

"Ms. Cornelius" said...

Ahem.

Dude, you have rounded off the hair at your temples and marred the edges of your beard. You're skanky.

Listen man, you have oppressed the alien living in your land, and I'm gonna have to smack ya!

He ate the right thigh of his sacrifice. He's one bad dude.

You have talked smack to me for the last time! I shall nowmake your sky like iron and your earth like copper.

Because of your arrogance, I will not smell your pleasing odors.

RJO said...

This is a great opportunity to introduce them to the little-appreciated literary art of flyting, not to mention the cleverness of Shakespeare:

Kent. Fellow, I know thee.

Osw. What dost thou know me for?

Kent. A knave, a rascal, an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-liver’d, action-taking knave; a whoreson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd, in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I will beat into clamorous whining if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition.

Michael Anderson said...

You should remind your students that, in these days of Unspoken Speech Codes, calling something or someone "gay" might be doing an Imus. I've abandonded the g-word for two others which are vastly more descriptive: METROSEXUAL and EFFETE.

educat said...

Michael, your running jump to attack PC speech has caused you to overshoot the point.

Why should homework be called gay? Is it gay? Does it in fact love other homework assignments? That's the discussion.

Author said...

Definition: "gay" something that some authority figure insists is good but is really unpleasant and distasteful.

It sounds like a legitimate development of the English language - but wait a minute - you would never use the word "gay" that way yourself would you, it might get you fired. That's why it's attractive to your students. They can afford to be honest about their opinions of the homosexual lifestyle and you cannot.

educat said...

No, Author, I've been pretty honest about my opinion on homosexuality.