- Today a first hour child commented (with all respect) on how much I must pee because she sees me refill my coffee several times. I answered that although I might be drinking too much, I was really only topping off the cup every time. But then I imagined another answer (cue swirly dream music)
"Why yes, I do. Quite a bit, actually. In fact (and then a look of relief sweeps over me), I just did."
- I helped my sister polish up her resume the other night. She has a program that allows the user to choose different careers, and then to choose descriptive phrases for your resume. She printed for me a sample resume for a Religious Ritual Slaughterer. Marvel at the duties.
- Slaughtered cattle, calves, and sheep as prescribed by
religious law and examined parts of carcasses to
determine whether carcasses met standards established by specific
- Sharpened knife on whetstone and washed knife
- Cut throat of animal, using single stroke
- Offered ritual prayers while slaughtering animal
- Inflated lungs with air to determine whether lungs were punctured
This confuses the entire class and so I explained that it seemed that Dali tried sex, didn't like it, and chose to become celibate.
LW: "What's celibate?"
Princess Grace breaks in: "Means you ain't sellin' nuttin!"
LW (shaking his head): "Oh, I am scarred."