"We Go To The Fair To Relax" Part II

Go. And you really should vote.

Now, I voted for the pregnant smoker at the ferris wheel, but that "Crack and Funnel Cake" shot is just sad, y'all. It just totally ruins one of nature's most perfect fried foods. I've seen the funnel cake roam free in its natural habitat and it just should not be near such ugliness.

It's Monday, You Need This

If you must go to work early on a Monday morning, you should at least have a friend who sends you a link like this. I had the address all day long and didn't touch it at school for fear that I'd never work again.

So now, I offer you, MORE COWBELL!

Exhibit A: John Denver's "Annie's Song", 74% Cowbell, 100% Walken

	Make your own at MoreCowbell.dj

Exhibit B: Woody Guthrie's "I Ain't Got No Home", 87% Cowbell, 28% Walken

	Make your own at MoreCowbell.dj

Exhibit C: ...and lastly, as if you didn't question my music collection enough, I give you (ahem...)

The Theme From The Jeffersons, 25% Cowbell, 46% Walken

	Make your own at MoreCowbell.dj

Please share your own creations. Leave a link, if you will, so we can all enjoy.

Perhaps The Most Obvious News I've Seen All Day

I read this article blearly eyed with coffee, thankful for first period plan time.

Many teachers don't get enough sleep.

Dear Teacher Magazine,

Those essays don't grade themselves.

xoxo--

Educat

I could survive for 54 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

Um...thanks, Chitarita

Guess It Does Hath Charms

Who would have ever thought that my fourth block would beg to listen to Mozart every time they work on something?

Teacher's Dillemma

I should not have to choose whether I will pee or eat lunch during my lunch break!!!

One, Two, Researchers, Four, Five

We're reading an informational text today, identifying the ways the author supports his claims.





"Ok, so we can see the author uses facts. Are there any statistics?"





and I get a look like this


"Are there any statistics? Are there any numbers used to make a point?"

and a young woman who, I swear, could be the long lost sister of Princess Grace (...and my is that a flashback to the golden era of blogging) piped in.

"Uuuh, yeah. It saw hur that researchers say."

"Ok, what do they say?"

"It don matter, issa statistic!"

"So where's the number?"

"Researchers!"

"Is that a number? Can you count to researchers?"

"Uuuuuuggggghhhh Ms Educat! Iss more than one, issa numba!"

Something tells me this group isn't going to win the knitted hat challenge.

How To Love A Knitter

I've been knitting in public quite a bit lately. It's just felt right. I can lead a class discussion or read aloud or whatever while doing a mindless 2x2 rib on a beanie. I can even hang a bag on my wrist and walk up and down the aisles of my room. I'm presently driven by the joy I'm getting from seeing a kid wear my hats at football games. I've even tried one with earflaps, and it worked! It's adorable!

The joy and zen I get from knitting, however, is wearing thin, and it's becoming awkward.

Please, my non knitting friends, when you see someone knitting, please refrain from asking if the knitter will make you something. It's only going to make things difficult. See, if I tell you yes, I have to tell everyone yes (because despite what you might think about our relationship, you're awesome but not special). If I have to knit for zillions of people, it's not fun anymore.

You can't pay me, either. Because, really, you'd feel gipped. The earflap hat took me about eight hours to knit. It's one of the quickest I've ever done. Now, how much is my time worth? Because I don't have much of it. If I even charge you $5 an hour (I made more than that for selling lotion and I'm a better knitter than I was a salesperson), you're paying $40 in labor. So really, $40 for a beanie?

Don't ask your friend who knits, please. If you stay quiet and respectful, maybe your knitting friend will appreciate your closed piehole enough to knit you something.

ps--I've dealt with this in my classes by telling my students that if 100% of them passed their State test, I'd knit each of them a cap. Let me know if you're interested in helping me make good on this promise. I'm not above help...

...just to relax

So the custodian on my hall stopped me to find out if I would be going to the State Fair.

Hadn't even thought about it.

I get an itch to go every five years or so. I love a good funnel cake and the pig races are not to be missed, but only twice a decade, please.

So I told my co-worker that I probably wouldn't make it out this year since school is so busy.

"Well, I take my wife there every year. Just to relax."

Check out the relaxing lines last year at the cinnamon roll stand...

Brilliante!

Thanks, Edna Lee, for calling me Brilliante! I'm pretty sure I had a student by that name once. So very many more worthy blogs have already been declared Brilliante that I can hardly pass it on. Besides, you knew how I was about tagging before you made your decision, right?

Thank you.

The Sort Of Thing I Never Thought I'd Say

Dear Spirit Club Children,

Last night, some of your friends stayed home. They didn't wear school colors and go to anyone's football game. They sat in the cafeteria during the pep assembly and they bragged in their classes how "they were gonna laugh when y'all lose".


They don't see themselves as part of the group who lost last night so they're not. As a result, they weren't hurt. They didn't have to face the wealthy school from up the road with the great big band and the great big boys playing football. They weren't embarassed at all. They lost nothing.

You know what else they didn't get? They didn't laugh at the picnic tables in front of the drive in. They didn't laugh at the prank with the other team's mascot that they almost pulled on me. They didn't fall down laughing after running the flags, they didn't paint up their faces and the college kids who came back to watch the game didn't thank them for starting so many traditions.

But those kids who sat at home didn't lose a thing, either.


Let's do this again next week.

xoxo
Ms Educat

Tales From The Bureaucracy

This is a tale of something that should I thought was a fight. It shouldn't have been a fight, but it somehow was. So I started to treat it like a fight only to find that my opponent wasn't going to fight.

So now that you're good and confused...

Last week's epic battle that nearly got me a class of Freshmen is over. For now, at least. It looks like I won't be teaching repeaters at all. I'd like to pretend that they were surprised when the Sophomore teachers called their administrative bluff but it was really far less heroic. Counselors and Administrators quickly scrambled to prove that the problem wasn't a problem ("Look! This kid is in credit recovery now! And this one only needs one quarter!!") and we ended up with the same sort of look you use when you didn't quite catch a kid doing something wrong but you were pretty sure he did something. You know? Like "Aaaalll right, you'll get by THIS TIME, but next time I catch you..." and one eyebrow is raised and one finger extended? Head all tilted? Till they look away??? "There." you think, "I fixed them."

And so everyone leaves the hubbub thinking that we've taught the other a lesson and in reality we're no better off than before.

I love my job and I love my school more. I've been there ten years and have seen parents finagle to get their kids in my classes. I teach alongside my former students now and probably bleed my school colors. If I start to hate it here, though, it will be over something like this. If I leave teaching, it will be over something like this.